Welcome to my page where there is no arrest here but I might cuff ya to the bed. *Chuckles* Naw only V gets the cuffs, enjoy.

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*Thump…thump…thump…thump. It was getting louder and louder the heavy thump on the door. If Rhage thinks I’m getting up and answering the door he was out of his fucking mi- my thoughts gets cut off when I hear a loud smash* The fuck?! *Jolting up from the bathroom floor a lag bottle in my hand slowly I get up. Staggering out of the bathroom I see shit…the whole brotherhood in the pit. The door was busted open just like Rhage predicted Wrath would do. Blinking I run a hand over my face feeling the scratchy stubble on my chin* The hell man?! *Wrath just stands there…they all do looking at me [Brother…] I swallow and my head turns to the door as five doggens come in and start cleaning up the mess. I growl low watching Wrath’s eyebrow shoot up past his shades his voice deep. [Butch…calm down] My eyes fall off of Wrath when fritz comes over to me with a huge tray of food. He sets it down on the coffee table bowing and I grunt some sort of thank you. I look back at Wrath, watching him nod to Phury and Rhage. [There gonna help you get cleaned up, ok brother?] Narrowing my eyes I look at them all…what was I? A child? Growling I stumble feeling two strong hands on my arms. Sighing I let Hollywood and Phury lead me to the the bathroom. I hear Wrath say a few more words to the others then by the sound of shitkickers pounding then fading off into the distance, I knew that they had left. Rhage looks over at Phury [I got this brother why don’t you go pick out a nice suit for Butch] Phury nods and leaves the bathroom closing the door behind him. I hear the shower turn on knowing Rhage willed it on then feels his hands at my waist. Closing my eyes cause shit this was embarrassing. I didn’t feel like a kid anymore no, I felt like I was a eighty year old man. The other thing I kept thinking was shit if Vishous was here and saw Rhage taking off my boxer briefs he would go all bonded male and flip shit. Swallowing hard as I feel the fabric drop from my legs and I shiver as the cool air hits my naked body. Placing both my hands over my junk, cause shit even though Rhage was my brother he did not have to see my cock and balls. I peel open my eyes watching Rhage lean forward to feel the water with his fingertips. Then watches him open the glass shower door and pull me in with him. I watch as the water falls and soaks his clothes then he turns us so I’m getting hit with the water and fuck I groan….it felt good. I couldn’t tell you the last time I had a shower. That sounded really gross but come on….the last thing on my mind this past week was gotta stay clean, be a good boy and shower. No. Leaning back on the wall I go into some form of sleep. I do remember Rhage running the soap bar over me then yes…hissing as soap gets into my eyes. So he was washing my hair now. God help Mary, Rhage was so rough washing my hair, it was like I was a dog. Grumbling I shake my head flinging soap and water at him hearing a [Hey!] My lips twitch and I almost laugh at that. [Asshole…] The old Butch starts coming back as I part my lips and say* Speaking of that, could you wash mine? *Smirking I turn around so my ass is facing Rhage and I swear to the Scribe Virgin he squealed. The water immediately gets willed off and he smacks my back [That wasn’t funny! Out! Get out!] Stumbling out of the shower I feel his hand grab my arm again, then hisses as he roughly dries me off with……….shit no…..that was Vishous’s towel. My hazel eyes snap open wide and I start to shake and scream* Get it off of me!!! No…stop!!! I can’t smell it *I start to sob falling to the floor, Rhage grunting as he tries to pull me back up* I can smell him please…oh god no…*Great now I was crying again and I could hear Phury, meaning the door had to be open now. [Brother…Rhage what happened?] Rhage goes into the Old Language and I pick up a few words…Vishous…towel….scent…I hear Phury sigh and move to help Rhage get me off of the floor. They take me to bedroom…shit no I didn’t want to sit on the bed…I haven’t slept on the bed since…fuck you know. Sobbing I shake my head and I hear Phury [Rhage not the bed…not the bed] Rhage curses and answers back [Well where the fuck are we suppose to put him then!] I hear hushed voices then feels them pull me over to one of the leather clubs chairs in the bedroom. They sit me down and begin to dress me…well Phury was the only one doing it right. He pushes Rhage out of the way [Just go…go get his food, I got this true?] Rhage grumbles and I swear to god just like a little kid he stomps out of the bedroom into the living room to retrieve the tray of food. Opening my eyes I watch Phury, kneel and button up my shirt he whispers to me [Brother…I’m here ok? Were all here] Swallowing hard I nod to him trying to hold back anymore more tears that dare wish to fall. Phury looks at me with his sad yellow eyes. Christ I still couldn’t get over how good looking he was but how someone like that had such a horrible back story…or was an addict to drugs. Funny how the world worked, true? He slides on my shoes and laces them just as Rhage walks in with the food and damnit wasn’t that fucker chewing…he was eating my food. The old butch would of laughed his ass off but Christ this Butch didn’t care…let him eat the food I didn’t want it. Phury gets up and grabs the tray roughly from Rhage then smacks him over his head [You fucker! This is for Butch! Jeez you already had first meal] Rhage just mumbles with food in his mouth and I shake my head. Then I feel a hand on my leg, looking up I see Phury with a spoonful of something. [Butch…open up please…you need to eat] Ok now I felt like a child again, shaking my head I hear both of them sigh. [Butch please…you need to…you need to have strength my brother] I close my eyes tight then I hear something…..Vishous…..”Come on nallum…eat..” Gasping I open my eyes and looks around the room. Rhage and Phury just stand there looking at me with a confused look. Blinking rapidly I continue to look around* Vishous?…Baby? *I watch Rhage and Phury frown, feeling there hands on my arm…[No Butch…it’s just us…and you need to eat ok?] Looking down for a moment I nod slowly then lifts my head and opens my mouth. I feel Phury put whatever food…um…..mash potatoes and chicken in my mouth. Though to me it tasted like nothing…food was the last thing on my mind. After God knows how long of the two of them shoving food down my mouth and me force to swallow its finally all gone. Rubbing my eyes I stand still thinking about what the hell I heard, I mean I knew my males voice and that was definitely Vishous. Phury and Rhage look at each other than at me [Ah Butch…we have our meeting soon and Wrath wants you there brother…are you up for it] Looking up at my brothers I nod slowly* Ah…*Clearing my throat* Yeah…true *They walk ahead of me and I follow suite my eyes low…this just…didn’t feel right. Looking up I see doggens putting in a new door for the pit I grumble* Can’t believe you guys broke down the door…*Rhage grins some [I warned you, didn’t I] Shaking my head I just keep walking, felt weird to be out of the pit. I’ve been cooped up in there for a week and some…just couldn’t bring myself to leave…to go anywhere. Which I think the brothers were happy about that. Glad I didn’t go AWOL like Tohr. I understand completely what he was feeling. Even though he lost his mate to the fade and V is still alive, I know the emptiness he was feeling. Almost mechanically I walk through the tunnel, across the mosaic floor, and up the grand staircase to Wrath’s study. Seeing everyone look up at me…uh I hated eyes on me. Snorts…shit I sounded like z. Moving over to the couch that I normally sit on I stop mid walk…wait…I can’t sit there…me…me and V always sit there. I run my fingers over the arm of the couch then moves over to the fireplace next to z. he is the one brother I know wont bother the fuck out of me. I run my hand down my suit eyeing the door as…tohr walks in. He lifts his head to me and our eyes lock. He slowly bows his head to me and I bow mine back then he walks over to his spot by Wrath’s desk just as wrath clears his throat [Ok…listen up…] I totally block out anything wrath is saying…all sounded like blah to me. My eyes still focus on tohr I look over the brother thinking about back when he lost wellsie…then when we found him…and his recovery which still wasn’t over. I take a deep breath and my attention gets pulled from wrath as he calls me out [Butch….Butch…] I blink and look over* Huh? *He shoots an eyebrow over his shades and leans back giving George a pet on his head [I want you to take time off but I don’t want you cooped up in the pit, you feel me? You need to rebuild your strength from your accident and if you wish..you may move into the mansion for the time being….] I swallow hard looking down. The pit…was were I always was…it was my home…it was me and…me and vishous’s place. See that right there confirmed it…it was ours…and we werent..sighs…together at the moment. Slowly I nod then hears Wrath again [Tohr….you’ll help Butch right?] I look up at Tohr watching his eyes lock onto me and nod before speaking [Of course…my brother] I look away hearing Wrath talk about some other lesser bullshit then the meeting is over with. Moving past everyone till I get stopped [Hold up] Turning around I stop watching everyone leave then Tohr just standing there looking at me [Gonna ditch me now?] He smiles barely and I shrug* Lets go then *Moving out of the study I watch tohr passed me [Follow me] I move with him down the hallway looking down the balcony to see the other brothers leaving the mansion for the night. Shaking my head I watch tohr open a door and will on the lights [Here…ah your room…right next to mine ok?] Slowly I walk in and look around. Wrinkling my nose at the decor [I know its not your style but feel free to….make it home…true?] Nodding I turn my back to him* Mind if i have a moment to myself? *Running a hand through my hair and a minute of silence goes by then Tohr murmurs [Sure…] Feeling shitkickers moving forward verses backwards a palm clamps over my shoulder. I stiffen then hangs my head [Butch…brother…im here ok..and I know the others say they are and I know what the fuck is running through your mind…just…when I say I know…I know…don’t hesitate to talk to me even if it makes no sense or shit you wanna cry or feel pain…just something…whatever…im here…ok?] Slowly I nod feeling tears form in my eyes then the hand slips from my shoulder [Good…i’ll be in my room…come find me when your ready] I feel him leave then shut the door behind me. Swallowing hard I move to the bed and sits on the edge just staring at the door, tears running down my cheeks as I cry silently wondering if I even can…go on…but..tohr was living proof that…that I can…or at least try…and for right now he was the only one that can truly understand…how it feels…to lose your mate*

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*Bon Jovi….Bon Jovi and Lagavulin…was like perfection right now. It’s all I needed…why Bon Jovi you ask?…Cause I couldn’t bring myself to play rap…A. It was just not the mood I was in…and B. It would make me think of….well….him…though I just failed at that cause I just did think of him, damnit. But still why Bon Jovi…I think because I use to listen to it in my twenties and shit when you blast it…like really blast it…its good. Though I was close to blowing out the speakers…but shit I didn’t give a fuck. The pit was a mess…honestly you couldn’t even see the floor. There were empty bottles everywhere and trash. No one and I mean no one was allowed in here. I grit my teeth as I hear a loud knock on the door. See I really meant it when I said no one was allowed in here cause I changed the code for the door. Taking a swig of lag finishing the bottle I chuck it at the door watching it crash into a million pieces not even fazed by the sound I hear rhage on the other end of the door [Fuck butch! Open the god damn door before Wrath has us break it down] I grunt resting my head back on the leather couch* Fuck you Hollywood*I mumble hearing rhage growl [OPEN THIS DOOR SO HELP ME SCRIBE VIRGIN I WILL TURN INTO THE BEAST AND BREAK IT DOWN MYSELF!] Growling loud I get up sporting just a pair of boxer briefs and stumbles to the door. I was still not in the best condition from my accident…oh yeah thats right i did almost die…well I did die..went to the fade and came back…no whats funny…I wish i died….and didnt come back…maybe it wouldn’t hurt so bad. pressing in the code before I open the door. Rhage hisses as he sees me, looking like he’s seen something disgusting. Grunting I stumble over to the bar dodging a million lag bottles on the floor. Honestly with the amount of alcohol consumption I’ve had these past days I was going to need a new liver…though I think the fact of me being a vampire meant I’d be ok. Grabbing a brand new bottle I hear rhage cursing under his breath then the music gets cut off. The fuck…you know what? Why didn’t everyone just let me be…let me act like this. At least I didn’t go all Tohr and leave…which is kinda funny…The ones that are more level headed like Tohr seem to go crazy when something big like this happens but people like me who are all over the place…seem to act somewhat sane when shit like this happens…shit like………your mate leaving you. Just straight up no note no nothing just leaving in the middle of the night while your sleeping and disappearing. Closing my eyes at the thought and shit no…I will not cry…not with Rhage here…or shit NO MORE. I’ve been the biggest pussy crying this past week or so…no honestly its been 1 week, 2 days, 8 hours, 24 minutes, annnnnd…..36 seconds. Yes that sounds like a crazy stalker/clingy person but shit this was my…my…well yeah this was V and he means so much to me. Deep breaths O’Neal…deep breaths. Cracking open the bottle I turn to rhage watching him study me. I take a swig as he continues to just….stand there* Can I help yyy-ou? *I slur the words to him [Butch…] his voice was soft…sad sounding…uh I hated it [I know…I know you…shit you have the right to be like this and Christ when Tohr lost his mat-] I cut off Rhage screaming* STOP!! I DON’T WANNA FUCKING HEAR THAT! *I get face to face with him a growl forming in my chest, gritting my teeth* I didn’t loose my mate, you hear me? He is just not here right now but damnit he is not gone! *Something warm trickles down my cheek…tears…fuck…I…I couldn’t help it* J-just…just go please…I need to be alone…*My voice sounded so weak. I watch Rhage frown and place a palm on my shoulder* GO! *He jumps then sadly nods walking out of the pit, closing the door behind him. Moving to the leather couch I continue to cry…fucking cry. Sighing I run my hand over my eyes trying to wipe away my tears…my memories of him…everything. The fact of the matter was he left…he left and…..I don’t think he was coming back. Slowly I stand and walk over to his four toys…one of his most prized possessions. I run my fingers over the keys thinking about him sitting in his chair, blunt placed between those perfect full lips as he hacks into something. Sitting in the computer chair I do what I do every night around this time…try to look for clues. Find out what happened…where he went. Yeah I was my own worst enemy. I mean fuck I’m trying to not think of him and what was I doing to myself…looking up shit on his computer trying to figure out what the fuck happened. Typing in the password I wear a smug grin while doing it, yeah that’s right. Vishous gave me the password. Not even the king had the password to his computer. I guess he just trusted me and shit I am his hellren/husband….or was…STOP IT O’NEAL. Chewing on my lower lip I try to focus on the screen, between the alcohol and tears I was doing a shitty job. Sniffing I just bang my head on the keyboard…fuck that felt actually good…pain yes that is what I needed. Groaning I feel something wet lapping on my leg* The fuck? *Lifting my head from the keyboard, I blink several times before looking down. Beck. Our dog….-our- being the key word there. Sighing heavily I reach down and pick up the dog, fuck he was getting big* Hey there big boy *My voice was rough sounding* Shh shh I got you *He squirms and cuddles close to me, licking my face….licking away the tears. Burying my face in his fur I take a few deep breaths before placing a kiss on his head* Love you fur ball *Slowly I stand, holding him close to me and I walk us to….the bedroom? I couldn’t go there…I haven’t been there since…since….yeah. Beck squirms and jumps from my arms and I watch him trot into the bedroom barking* Beckett get out of there! Beck come here boy! *Reluctantly I follow him, watching him jump on the bed wagging his tail. I just stand in the door frame…shit I could smell him and I wasn’t even in there* Beckett now! *Patting my thigh I point to the living room and whistles* Come on! *He barks and rolls around on the silky black sheets. Cursing under my breath I walk in going over to the bed but that son of a bitch dog jumps from the bed and runs into the closet* Fuck Beckett I’m not playing these games! *Growling I stomp into the closet seeing him with one of V’s wife beaters between his teeth. Slowly Beck walks over and drops the fabric at my feet. Crouching down to his level I pick it up…my vision blurred as I bring it up to my face taking a long inhale. Fuck. I smelled everything, the Turkish tobacco, a dark musky scent, also a bit of Irish spring, and some of his deodorant. A loud sob breaks through and my shoulders shake as I begin to cry hard. Hearing Beck whimper but I couldn’t help it. It was all to much, all to real. V…V was gone and he wasn’t coming back…So what made of me now? Who was Butch O’Neal? A broken male still in the brotherhood…alone in a place that was ours with Vishous’s name on my back. No what that is….fucked up…but this was my new life now…and we shall see what will become of me. Curling up into a ball with the wife beater clutched to my chest I close my eyes….hopefully either the alcohol or the fact that I haven’t slept in days with pull me off into slumber*

*Laughs fucking loud* poor beckham

(via dungeonmistressyvetta)

Source: cespur

meuntamed:

Yeah nothing special, just very simple. Vishous!


Whoa! holy shit thats amazing 

meuntamed:

Yeah nothing special, just very simple. Vishous!

Whoa! holy shit thats amazing 

(via minniespmpnu1)

Source: naughty-little-kitten

Damn I need to be fucked like that…*Whistles towards @V_Vishous *

(via semeuke)

Source: boyfriendsolos.com

Me and V last night…

Me and V last night…

(via dn2022e)

Source: glust

True *Grins*

True *Grins*

(via soy-tu-mami)

Source: the--personal--quotes

Um….*Shifty eyes to @V_Vishous then walks to the bedroom to do exactly this by myself*

(via sublimecock)

Source:

True…again

True…again

inmyinsaneworld:

THIS!!!!!!!!!!
psych-tic:

this omg

inmyinsaneworld:

THIS!!!!!!!!!!

psych-tic:

this omg

(via tranquilseasons)

Source: undeadlife